Annotated chess game: where it all comes down to

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ANNOTATED GAME

where it all comes down to
fycorsia (1294) vs. felkajamine (1148)
Annotated by: felkajamine (1065)
Chess opening: French defence (C00)

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this is a game between two brothers, one slightly intoxicated with every drug under the sun, and the other, just a normal average person. [note, this annotation was made by the intoxicated brother, so half of this annotation is backwards, as in he got the black and white pieces mixed up. just play along, it wil make him happy]

1. e4

this all began on a sunny day in greece...as usual i started out with the French Ketchup opening.

1... e6

he countered my french ketchup with a nasty little move, not sure what this one is called, but it doesn't smell like ketchup.

2. d4

ahh, yes, this is where it all begins, i now bring in the guns, his no name opener is no match for this ketchup master....watch as it starts coming down!

2... Nf6

see, here he is obviously scared by the ketchup covered beginnings that he is just moving random pieces, at any given place with an open square, hoping to distract me from my messy death hole with which i will place him in. mmmm yummy!

3. Bg5

i act with speed, and pin his horsey. for those who are just starting. If he moves his donkey then i will snag a queen and then proceed by jumping up and down yelling "ketchup is king". lets watch to see what happens!

3... Be7

hmm. well he didn't move his Q, he must have seen my plans that i left open on my desk earlier today! i'll have to stop doing that. no worries, i have better and bigger plans up my sleeve. his Q will be mine!!!!!!1111

4. e5

i continue with my stern moves, i am clearly at this moment trying to take over the center of the board, which i have pretty much mastered at the moment. and we all know, that whoever has the center will prevail in the end. so pretty much my opponent should just resign....long live the ketchup opener!!!!

4... c6

well, he's basically just giving me the center...this is gonna be awesome, this is going to be easier than ramming my body head first into a pile of bricks. I don't really see any benefit to this move, I've searched and i could not find any references that claim this position. though it seems that he is trying to free his Queen side castle. lets see what happens next.

5. exf6

at this point i have decided that it was partial to my victory to take his horse figurine. it was not completely necessary, as this move is not out-lined in the ketchup tactics notebook, but what is most important is that i am now at PLUS THREE in my score, and he is still at zero.....i am winning!

5... Bxf6

from all my years of playing, how could i have not predicted such a move? i am stupid, i did not realize that was going to happen. it's okay though, i am still at PLUS TWO, i am still in the lead. just need to make no more mistakes from here on out!

6. Bxf6

I wasn't ready for this, he struck me by surprise here, i thought he was going to attack using his usual pirate ambush tactic, which i was ready for, which is why i pressured his black bishop with my black bishop. he could have easily of backed off, but he chose not to, im thinking that he is trying to open up my king side, and then hope to break my pawn forcefield, ha ha, like that will happen.

6... Qxf6

well now he's really in for a kick in the spleen. I've had to result in bringing my queen out, i did this for a reason, i could have alternately moved my G pawn and captured his bishop, but i am smarter than that. He wanted me to use my G pawn, so i surprised him, and brought out the big guns. he won't see this coming, now im smooth sailing, it's all pretty much downhill for him, im hoping for a checkmate in under 10 moves.

7. Bd3

okay, his bishop is now brought to the front line, in an obvious attempt to attack my H pawn on the queen side. instead of capturing my opponents D pawn with my Q. notice his position as of now. He has a direct line of attack all the way down on both sides of the board with his white bishop. my plans are to slowly move all of my pieces to black squares. how will his bishop attack if all my men are on black???!!!111 EXACTLY!!

7... d6

so he wanted me to take his middle side pawn with my queen! instead I step out my C pawn, in an effort to clear out my king side, to castle! he thought i would take his pawn, and once again, i have out smarted him! and at the same time i have landed yet another piece on a black square. chess is all about multi-tasking, i have mastered this feat. i am almost always doing something else while playing chess, sometimes I'm eating a pizza, or a waffle. Once i even took a shower while in the middle of a chess battle. Yes i did lose that game, but i have never lost while being SO clean.

8. d5

This is where im starting to get scared. even after i tried to scare him with my pawn brick wall, he keeps pressing his D pawn forward. i can only guess it's to try and penetrate my wall of pawns, but for what reason? He has no chance at victory. Possible suicide maybe? We can only hope!

8... exd5

with his previous daring move to penetrate my wall of stone hard pawns, he wants me to swap pawns, and i really don't have a choice, this is probably his best move of the game. the question is: which pawn should i swap? im sure he would like me to swap with my E pawn, so i should swap with my C pawn. But wait, he knows that i know that he wants me to swap with the E which means that he knows that i will swap with the other one. so his plans are being built on this single swap. he is counting on me knowing what he knows. so instead i will indeed strike with my E pawn. completely knocking him off his feet, and having to re-think his entire plans.

9. Qe2+

at this point, I'm starting to re-think my process. Originally i was thinking this was going to be an easy win for me like all the rest of them have been. His Q just placed me in check. i can either throw my own queen in front of this assassin attempt, OR i could signal for my whit bishop to pull the grenade launcher out and blast my opponent off the map.

9... Be6

well, i choose to just wimp out and move my white bishop into play to block the punch.

10. Nc3

oh oh, he's letting his horsey out of his stall. now there's going to be horse poop everywhere. Bringing the horse out doesn't seem to really do anything to me at all, so i must keep pressing onward with my plan. I still have several pieces that need to be moved onto black squares. it's a slow process, but in the end, completely worth it.

10... c5

perfect, i have him exactly where i need him. I bet he's gonna move his donkey again, i bet it's gonna be in another "L" shape like his last one....he's so predictable!

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