But this is necessary to bring the minor pieces out, so here it's good.

dont you mean nxe5?

Yes.

if i play e4 i try to play the Ruy Lopez

I personally prefer 4. c3 which is the Goering gambit

whats wrong with Bc4?

The Scotch is the only serious alternative to the Ruy Lopez after 1.e4 e5 according to Kasparov. After 4.c3 Black can equalize quickly with 4...d5 and concentrate on developing, his pawn on e4 gives him a space advantage. If he knows what he is doing he can also accept the gambit. 4.Bc4, the Scotch Gambit often transposing to the Max Lange attack, is not a bad choice below the master level. If you want to see how to deal with 4...Bc4 I suggest looking at Jonny Hector's games.

Bc5 and Nf6 are most common. 4...Nxd4 Qxd4 is not considered as good, as it is difficult to harass the queen.

Black apparently played this to avoid having his pawn structure damaged. However, Black gets good piece play in exchange for bad pawn structure. At the sub-master level, active piece play is probably more important than a slight positional defect; and the Black side is easier to play although technically slightly inferior.

Be3 is a strong move

Even better is 7. Nd5!

Or simply 7...Bxe3. @jkarp: no he can take back because after 8.Nxe3 there's no checkmate so it doesn't win a free piece..

I think that most things win here for white but 9. Nd5 looks the best

@jkarp after c6 white can play Bd4 and can still be a piece up!

9...c6 leaves two of White's pieces hanging, but he can save himself with 10.Nxd6+ and then moving the bishop.

Actually, jkarp, 9...c6 makes matters worse. 10.Bxd6+ allowing my other Bishop to escape.