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mrmarmalade 09-Mar-13, 09:23 |
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World CitizenAll were born, raised in different countries To each his language, customs and taboos Every one proud of our heritage bounties With cultural dowries; little to lose. I'll tell you one thing I learned long ago- while reading books in libraries in Rome ... Events which gave humanity bad blow Produced a mighty exodus. My home now lies amidst sunny beaches and palms to get our feet wet; acquiesce With my neighbors like the Changs and the Brahms Where we chat and break bread ... but I digress From talking about any denizen Having missed my afternoon medicine |
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Quick interludethe pentmetre goes like a heartbeat- deDUM deDUM deDUM deDUM deDUM - 10 syllables, with the stress generally on the second syllable of each pair or "foot". "my MISStress WITH a MONster IS in LOVE" (Midsummer Night's Dream) "FareWELL the TRANquil MIND, fareWELL conTENT" (Othello) "But, SOFT! what LIGHT through YONder WINdow BREAKS?" (Romeo & Juliet) and occasionally it departs from the standard, to great effect- "NOthing will COME of NOthing: SPEAK aGAIN" (King Lear) "LET me NOT to the MARRiage of TRUE MINDS"" (Sonnet 116) But it still aims for five stressed and five unstressed syllables Here's one from Wilfred Owen, WWI poet: ANTHEM FOR DOOMED YOUTH What PASSing-BELLS for THESE who DIE as CATtle? --Only the monstrous anger of the guns. Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle Can patter out their hasty orisons. No MOCKeries for THEM from PRAYers or BELLS, Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,- The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells; And bugles calling for them from sad shires. What CANDles MAY be HELD to SPEED them ALL? Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes Shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes. The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall; Their flowers the tenderness of silent minds, And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds. |
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JOHN'S NIGHT OUT |
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the-sigularity 11-Mar-13, 22:13 |
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chaz- 12-Mar-13, 07:48 |
Deleted by obsteve on 12-Mar-13, 08:36.
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obsteve 12-Mar-13, 08:34 |
Deleted by obsteve on 12-Mar-13, 09:15.
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Practicing the suave things he was best at |
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A guy called John went stopping out one night With an indigo coat and golden tie his expensive watch, and diamonds so bright a tall, ready, sure-stepping kind of guy. Auspicious evening for him to jest at he's looking good tonight and acting cool- Practicing the suave things he was best at Because ev'ry one knew he was no fool. |
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mrmarmalade 12-Mar-13, 09:11 |
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the-sigularity 13-Mar-13, 15:25 |
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John's Night OutWith an indigo coat and golden tie his expensive watch, and diamonds so bright a tall, ready, sure-stepping kind of guy. Auspicious evening for him to jest at he's looking good tonight and acting cool- Practicing the suave things he was best at Because ev'ry one knew he was no fool. He would sip coffee and see into distance -Just then a pretty girl came into view- Invited her, she gave no resistance to glances, advances ... but then she flew. Hoping he would follow, to her hotel room Through the lobby, to her body- and his doom! |
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Quick interludeNext sonnet, could we aim to introduce the change a little earlier, at line 9? This will give us more time to elaborate, and really come home for the sting in the last couplet. Check this turning point in line 9 of Shakespeare's classic, Sonnet 18: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? Thou art more lovely and more temperate: Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May, And summer's lease hath all too short a date: Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimm'd; And every fair from fair sometime declines, By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd; BUT THY ETERNAL SUMMER SHALL NOT FADE Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest; Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade, When in eternal lines to time thou growest: So long as men can breathe or eyes can see, So long lives this and this gives life to thee. |
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