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FromMessage
chaz-
04-Mar-13, 17:22

With cultural dowries; little to lose.
obsteve
05-Mar-13, 14:44

I'll tell you one thing I learned long ago-
chaz-
08-Mar-13, 12:05

while reading books in libraries in Rome ...
kewois
08-Mar-13, 17:26

Events which gave humanity bad blow
obsteve
09-Mar-13, 01:17

Produced a mighty exodus. My home
chaz-
09-Mar-13, 07:22

now lies amidst sunny beaches and palms
mrmarmalade
09-Mar-13, 09:23

to get our feet wet; acquiesce
kewois
10-Mar-13, 00:02

With my neighbors like the Changs and the Brahms
obsteve
10-Mar-13, 07:09

Where we chat and break bread ... but I digress
kewois
11-Mar-13, 10:31

From talking about any denizen
obsteve
11-Mar-13, 19:38

Having missed my afternoon medicine
obsteve
11-Mar-13, 19:40

World Citizen
WORLD CITIZEN

All were born, raised in different countries
To each his language, customs and taboos
Every one proud of our heritage bounties
With cultural dowries; little to lose.

I'll tell you one thing I learned long ago-
while reading books in libraries in Rome ...
Events which gave humanity bad blow
Produced a mighty exodus. My home

now lies amidst sunny beaches and palms
to get our feet wet; acquiesce
With my neighbors like the Changs and the Brahms
Where we chat and break bread ... but I digress

From talking about any denizen
Having missed my afternoon medicine
obsteve
11-Mar-13, 19:59

Quick interlude
One power of the Shakespearian sonnet is the way it scans-

the pentmetre goes like a heartbeat- deDUM deDUM deDUM deDUM deDUM - 10 syllables, with the stress generally on the second syllable of each pair or "foot".

"my MISStress WITH a MONster IS in LOVE" (Midsummer Night's Dream)
"FareWELL the TRANquil MIND, fareWELL conTENT" (Othello)
"But, SOFT! what LIGHT through YONder WINdow BREAKS?" (Romeo & Juliet)

and occasionally it departs from the standard, to great effect-

"NOthing will COME of NOthing: SPEAK aGAIN" (King Lear)
"LET me NOT to the MARRiage of TRUE MINDS"" (Sonnet 116)

But it still aims for five stressed and five unstressed syllables

Here's one from Wilfred Owen, WWI poet:

ANTHEM FOR DOOMED YOUTH

What PASSing-BELLS for THESE who DIE as CATtle?
--Only the monstrous anger of the guns.
Only the stuttering rifles' rapid rattle
Can patter out their hasty orisons.

No MOCKeries for THEM from PRAYers or BELLS,
Nor any voice of mourning save the choirs,-
The shrill, demented choirs of wailing shells;
And bugles calling for them from sad shires.

What CANDles MAY be HELD to SPEED them ALL?
Not in the hands of boys, but in their eyes
Shall shine the holy glimmers of goodbyes.
The pallor of girls' brows shall be their pall;

Their flowers the tenderness of silent minds,
And each slow dusk a drawing-down of blinds.
obsteve
11-Mar-13, 20:02

JOHN'S NIGHT OUT
A guy called John went stopping out one night
chaz-
11-Mar-13, 20:57

With an indigo coat and golden tie
the-sigularity
11-Mar-13, 22:13

his expensive watch, and diamonds so bright
chaz-
11-Mar-13, 22:20

a tall, ready, sure-stepping kind of guy.
kewois
12-Mar-13, 03:33

Auspicious evening for him to jest at
chaz-
12-Mar-13, 07:48

Deleted by obsteve on 12-Mar-13, 08:36.
obsteve
12-Mar-13, 08:34

Deleted by obsteve on 12-Mar-13, 09:15.
obsteve
12-Mar-13, 08:36

he's looking good tonight and acting cool-

Practicing the suave things he was best at
chaz-
12-Mar-13, 09:08

[... sorry for my goof on the every other line rule ... with my next line added, here's where we are now:]

A guy called John went stopping out one night
With an indigo coat and golden tie
his expensive watch, and diamonds so bright
a tall, ready, sure-stepping kind of guy.

Auspicious evening for him to jest at
he's looking good tonight and acting cool-
Practicing the suave things he was best at
Because ev'ry one knew he was no fool.
mrmarmalade
12-Mar-13, 09:11

He would sip coffee and see into distance
obsteve
12-Mar-13, 09:17

-Just then a pretty girl came into view-
kewois
13-Mar-13, 07:41

Invited her, she gave no resistance
chaz-
13-Mar-13, 11:52

to glances, advances ... but then she flew.
the-sigularity
13-Mar-13, 15:25

Hoping he would follow, to her hotel room
obsteve
13-Mar-13, 15:52

Through the lobby, to her body- and his doom!
obsteve
13-Mar-13, 16:19

John's Night Out
A guy called John went stopping out one night
With an indigo coat and golden tie
his expensive watch, and diamonds so bright
a tall, ready, sure-stepping kind of guy.

Auspicious evening for him to jest at
he's looking good tonight and acting cool-
Practicing the suave things he was best at
Because ev'ry one knew he was no fool.

He would sip coffee and see into distance
-Just then a pretty girl came into view-
Invited her, she gave no resistance
to glances, advances ... but then she flew.

Hoping he would follow, to her hotel room
Through the lobby, to her body- and his doom!
obsteve
13-Mar-13, 16:25

Quick interlude
Sorry, I couldn't resist finishing that one off  

Next sonnet, could we aim to introduce the change a little earlier, at line 9? This will give us more time to elaborate, and really come home for the sting in the last couplet.

Check this turning point in line 9 of Shakespeare's classic, Sonnet 18:

Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?
Thou art more lovely and more temperate:
Rough winds do shake the darling buds of May,
And summer's lease hath all too short a date:

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines,
And often is his gold complexion dimm'd;
And every fair from fair sometime declines,
By chance or nature's changing course untrimm'd;

BUT THY ETERNAL SUMMER SHALL NOT FADE
Nor lose possession of that fair thou owest;
Nor shall Death brag thou wander'st in his shade,
When in eternal lines to time thou growest:

So long as men can breathe or eyes can see,
So long lives this and this gives life to thee.
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